Posted 2 minutes ago

teaboot:

teaboot:

You have to get up pretty early in the morning to lead your gift horse across that burnt bridge but you can’t make a watched horse eat all your cans of worms in one basket

Take your medicine pleaseALT

Adderall Happens When I Say So

Posted 16 hours ago

stealingpotatoes:

image

pro tip: if the surface you’re about to sit on is the same colour as your noble eunuch, make sure to double check it to avoid any accusations of assassination attempts

Posted 16 hours ago

actualized-animal:

transferring one million grains of rice to my tummy account

Posted 16 hours ago
Posted 16 hours ago

dysphoria-things:

(no beers in) do you guys think i’m redeemable

Posted 1 day ago
Posted 1 day ago

athena-cat-wizard-official:

flipchild:

image

when your gps app alerts you to speed traps

Posted 1 day ago
Posted 1 day ago
Posted 1 day ago
Posted 1 day ago

innerchildabortionclinic:

I hope i’m your favorite losing dog to bet on

Posted 1 day ago
Posted 1 day ago
Posted 1 day ago

chilewithcarnage:

I do not respect the sanctity of marriage #divorcethatthang

Posted 1 day ago

otterloreart:

image

ok then why didnt you